I’ve never been a fan of the Duggar’s reality show “19 Kids
and Counting.” However, living in Arkansas it’s hard not to be aware of the
show and what it is about. This week, a disturbing story emerged from the
Duggar family. The eldest son, 27 year old Josh, had been involved in serious
sexual misconduct when he was 14 years old. He has admitted that at the time he
fondled the breasts and genitals of five underage girls while they were
sleeping, some of whom were his sisters.
By itself this is disturbing enough, but the ensuing
cover-up is even worse. The incidents occurred in 2003 and did not come to the
knowledge of law enforcement until 2006. By that time no legal action could be
taken because the statute of limitations had expired. The police reports and
other information remained buried until In Touch Weekly blew up the story in an article this week.
Ironically, Josh was a part of the FRC, Family Research
Council, but stepped down in light of the charges. He had been an outspoken
advocate of the traditional family and the care of children in this role. According
to FRC President Tony Perkins, the organization had no knowledge of Josh’s
illegal actions previously.
Here’s where it gets really messed up. Father Jim Bob Duggar
took Josh to the elders of the church and shared with them what happened when
the incidents first occurred. Still at this point nothing was officially
reported to the authorities. In the state of Arkansas, this is in and of itself
an illegal act. Let me explain. Under Arkansas law certain people are “mandated
reporters” which means they are required by law to immediately notify the Child
Abuse Hotline when they have reasonable suspicion that a child has been abused,
has died due to abuse or when they observe a child in conditions or
circumstances that could reasonably result in abuse.
These mandated reporters may face both criminal and civil charges if they fail to
report the abuse, and this includes child care workers, day care center
workers, clergy and individuals reasonably believed to be clergy.
The elders are the church leaders. Typically, the pastor
himself is counted among this group. Therefore, these elders willingly and
knowingly broke the law to protect one of their church members from the
consequences of his illegal actions. Josh Duggar’s illegal actions were
effectively hidden until the statute of limitations ran out and he could no
longer face criminal charges for what he had done.
How do his parents feel about this? From their Facebook page
Jim Bob and Michelle write, “When Josh was a young teenager, he made some very
bad mistakes and we were shocked.” That’s how they categorize it: “mistakes.”
Here’s the deal – when you are adding 2 + 2 and you get 5, that’s a mistake.
When you spell a word wrong, that’s a mistake. When you take the wrong exit
getting off the freeway, that’s a mistake. Molesting five underage girls is not
a mistake – that’s a crime.
What bothers me most about the entire post from the Duggars
on their Facebook page is that they focus on themselves and Josh. The parents
say it was a tough time for their family. Josh says it almost ruined his life.
What about the families and lives of the girls who were molested? They say Josh
apologized and that he asked for and received forgiveness. That is wonderful.
We need to forgive those who hurt us. Jesus forgives us for our sins. However,
that does not exclude us from punishment under the law of the land. I know
people in prison right now doing serious time for committing the same types of
crime. The most difficult ministry I have in jail is dealing with sex
offenders. I have 4 daughters, and it’s hard for me to look at those
individuals and understand the reason they would sexually abuse another person.
I’ve counseled those who have been sexually abused and it leaves mental and
emotional scars for life.
My question is this – should Josh Duggar get a pass because
he is a Christian? Because his parents have their own reality show? The answer
is a resounding “No!” What boggles my mind is how Christian fans of the show
are circling their wagons around Josh and the family and defending them from
criticisms.
Imagine this – a reality TV show of a same sex couple who
have adopted a dozen children and are raising them. Then, a shocking story
reveals that one of their children molested some of his siblings and other
children when he was a teenager. Do you think Christians would rally around
this family? They’d skewer them and crucify them in the news and on social
media. This is called a double standard. This is called hypocrisy. This. Is.
NOT. Right!
Josh Duggar should be a registered sex offender for his
actions. Josh Duggar should have had to face a judge for the crimes he
committed. The elders of his church should have to face legal charges for
covering up his crimes. None of that will happen. But we cannot give Josh a
pass. We can forgive him, but we must make sure this is not simply swept under
the rug and excused so lightly.
Christians are so quick to boycott things they find
offensive. I just wonder if any will boycott “19 Kids and Counting”? How many
will keep viewing and just agree, “Well, Josh was just a young boy who made a
mistake.” It was not a mistake. It was a crime. It was an offense to God and to
the law of our state and nation. He has forgiveness from God through the blood
of Christ, but he escaped the debt he owed society for these crimes. The crimes
alone were despicable, but the most inexcusable part of all is the cover up by
Josh and his family. It reminds me of some of my favorite words of Jesus:
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free.” (John 8:32)
Truth is an intrinsic part of being a Christ follower.
Sometimes truth hurts, but as believers we must uphold it in all situations.
Our failures can be forgiven, but we should never deny the implications of
covering up the truth. I know many will quote to me, “Judge not, that ye be not
judged” (Matthew 7:1). I respond with these words from the Apostle Paul:
“I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually
immoral people – not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral,
or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave
this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone
who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an
idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to
judge those inside? God will judge those outside. ‘Expel the wicked person from
among you.’” (1 Corinthians 5:9-13 NIV)
The church is a place for the truth to be revealed, not
covered up. Sometimes that means we must face the harsh realities and
consequences of our actions. We can forgive others because of our citizenship
in Heaven, but we must remember we are still citizens of this land as well:
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for
there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities
that exist have been established by God.” (Romans 13:1 NIV)
Josh and his family skirted around the governing authorities
in this circumstance. The only reason law enforcement did not pursue
prosecution was because the statute of limitations prevented them. I can
forgive Josh and his family, but that does not mean I have to trust them. One
real lesson to learn here in our celebrity Christian culture is that people
will always disappoint us. The Lord Jesus Christ will never disappoint us.
[Appendix 5-23-15:
I know some people who read my blog about Josh Duggar think I was harsh. I've read it again, and it certainly captured my anger at the situation. I do want to clarify this. As Christians we must forgive Josh and his family. That is our calling. We must love them - they are part of our family through the blood of Christ. Forgiveness is something I struggle with a lot. Especially when it comes to sexual crime and particularly those involving children. I have to take a really deep breath, pray hard, and put my Jesus glasses on to minister to sexual offenders in jail. But this is what I have found. Ultimately, they are broken people, just like me and just like you. Broken in another way, maybe, but equally loved and forgiven by a great and mighty savior. I wish I could be as unconditionally forgiving as Jesus. He is still working on me with that. I wish I didn't have a hair trigger with anger on certain issues - he is still working with me on that too. Reconciliation and Restoration are two integral parts of the Gospel. That is how we should treat those caught in sin. Trust though always has to be earned, and once it's wounded, it can be very slow to heal. We live in a society with punitive justice. That means we punish people for crimes by incarcerating them for certain periods of time, and in extreme cases by executing them. I believe we need to focus more on restorative justice, because that is the Jesus way, the New Testament way. That means restoring broken lives and broken relationships through a process of restoration and reparation. I am glad that in our new County Jail we will have facilities to do more of that. I am glad that it sounds like the Duggars have tried to pursue this route. I am still angered and outraged by what happened, but I love them and accept them as my extended family in Christ. I hope that adds more balance to my response. I'm going to add this as an appendix to my blog as well. Thank you all who have commented and spoken with me about this issue. That dialogue can lead to great growth in our spiritual life and our church life.]
[Appendix 5-23-15:
I know some people who read my blog about Josh Duggar think I was harsh. I've read it again, and it certainly captured my anger at the situation. I do want to clarify this. As Christians we must forgive Josh and his family. That is our calling. We must love them - they are part of our family through the blood of Christ. Forgiveness is something I struggle with a lot. Especially when it comes to sexual crime and particularly those involving children. I have to take a really deep breath, pray hard, and put my Jesus glasses on to minister to sexual offenders in jail. But this is what I have found. Ultimately, they are broken people, just like me and just like you. Broken in another way, maybe, but equally loved and forgiven by a great and mighty savior. I wish I could be as unconditionally forgiving as Jesus. He is still working on me with that. I wish I didn't have a hair trigger with anger on certain issues - he is still working with me on that too. Reconciliation and Restoration are two integral parts of the Gospel. That is how we should treat those caught in sin. Trust though always has to be earned, and once it's wounded, it can be very slow to heal. We live in a society with punitive justice. That means we punish people for crimes by incarcerating them for certain periods of time, and in extreme cases by executing them. I believe we need to focus more on restorative justice, because that is the Jesus way, the New Testament way. That means restoring broken lives and broken relationships through a process of restoration and reparation. I am glad that in our new County Jail we will have facilities to do more of that. I am glad that it sounds like the Duggars have tried to pursue this route. I am still angered and outraged by what happened, but I love them and accept them as my extended family in Christ. I hope that adds more balance to my response. I'm going to add this as an appendix to my blog as well. Thank you all who have commented and spoken with me about this issue. That dialogue can lead to great growth in our spiritual life and our church life.]
